Seasonal F*#$s Not Even Given.....
The Art and Science of giving zero Fucks
The whole concept of ‘giving zero fucks’ is perfectly summed up by a man named Mark Manson. His article on The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is a real breath of fresh air. He summarizes the rationale of not giving perfectly when he states: “Indeed we often refer to the strongest, most admirable people we know in terms of their lack of fucks given. Chances are you know somebody in your life who, at one time or another, did not give a fuck and went on to accomplish amazing feats.”
And he’s right. Guess what? If you don’t give your full attention to the email that you feel you should respond to within 5 minutes of receiving it or return a text to a person within a second of reception, the world, YOUR world will still stay in place. Simply put, if we give too many fucks, we choose to give them about everything, and then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, which is very unrealistic and keeps us in a very unhappy loop in life. This is especially true over the holiday seasons.
Let’s face it, during the months of November and December, you are more likely to give very serious fucks to everything, AKA….socialize more, spend more, do more, eat more and sleep less. If taking care of yourself doesn’t come naturally to you, you most likely go into over-serving mode during these holidays. You go out of your way to make sure everything is ready for everyone else. Well, now is the time to take back YOUR time and to take care of YOU! Here are some simple ways to do just that over the course of the rest of this year.
Have a morning routine: if you make a little time for yourself first thing every day, you can move through your day with more grace and intention. It may be only 5 minutes long, but even that little bit of time will help. Use that time to sit quietly with a cup of your favorite beverage, write, walk, meditate, or whatever else you enjoy to help feed your body, mind and spirit.
Take a walk: Going outside to walk after the day’s end can be quite therapeutic. Never worry about how many steps you have to take or burning so many calories, just enjoy the walk itself in the moment quietly.
Respect your budget: Once you figure out what you can spend on holiday gifts, events and other holiday activities, honor them. If you splurge now, you will pay later and be in a constant state of stress because of it.
Eat well: Plan to indulge in some of your favorite holiday treats, but eat better 80-90% of the time.
Unschedule/Unplug: Make room for holiday fun by being more spontaneous and stepping away from all of your electronics and social media platforms for at least an afternoon, if not, an entire day. You may be amazed at how relaxed you can be from not feeling like you have to check your phone every 30 seconds.
Laugh: Call, Face Time, Skype or spend some time in person with people who make you laugh and lift your spirits daily. Surrounding yourself with positive people evokes your own positive responses to the world.
Write: emotions can run very high during the holiday season, but much of what runs through our heads never necessarily needs to be said out loud. Instead, write it down. Write down your thoughts, feelings and what makes you happy, sad, angry or frustrated. Putting it to paper gives you a chance to clear your mind and move through your day with less bottled up stress.
Regift: Sometimes finding what you think to be a perfect gift for someone can be stressful and more expensive that you have budgeted for. Instead, opt for giving a more meaningful gift. Give your friend a favorite book of yours and write something to them on the inside cover. Give someone a beautiful vase you never use full of fresh flowers, or look for other things you can pass on with love with a personal touch.
Forgive: It’s never too late. Your forgiveness will not only heal hearts, it will also heal yours. Take note-you don’t need a formal apology to forgive someone.
Be grateful: Directing more of our attention towards gratitude for the things in our lives that make them incredible has been scientifically proven to make us healthier mentally, physically and emotionally.
Say goodbye to guilt: The very first thing you have to do in order to say goodbye to guilt is to determine if you are, in fact, actually guilty of something. Most times, the guilt we define as guilt isn’t’ really that at all. Instead, its sadness or anxiety that you couldn’t do more to help, disappointment that you didn’t fully achieve something you set out to do or anger because you said yes to something that needed a no instead.
Redefine your ‘abundance’: If we could only stop equating abundance with extra material things and try to measure ourselves against it all the time, our self worth would be more valuable than our perceived net worth. We could finally be grateful for the things we have instead of dwelling on the things we do not have or want in our grasp. Abundance is having a full heart and mind, not a full house.
Giving: This doesn’t have to mean money, giving our time to someone or something can be just as valuable to them or the cause. Pick something close to your heart and give the way you want to give instead of how you think you’re supposed to give.
Create something: Tap into your creative side, everyone has one. Write a poem, start a book, write your own short story, get out the pen and paper and draw, whatever it is to express yourself. Make, create, own. Enjoy the process with zero expectations or deadlines from anyone.
Breathe: Worried? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Confused? Breathe in, breathe out, and repeat. Start by closing your eyes, breathing in and out over and over and you’d be surprised how often you can stop yourself from over thinking and over reacting.
Let it go: There are great benefits to moving through life, work and relationships with a lighter step, a brighter outlook and a larger heart. If we want things to work for us, we need to let go of the heavy, negative thoughts and situations.
Stop signs: If you have already overdone it with something, consider a full pause there. Sometimes backing off isn’t quite enough. Taking an entire day off for yourself and vowing to do nothing more than taking care of YOU will help to gain a fresh perspective on life.
Be your love: Instead of working overtime to please everyone around you in work and your personal life, just be your own love today. Taking care of yourself year round and not just over the holiday season is the best gift you can give yourself and everyone around you.
So, in summation, to take time for yourself first, to give zero fucks about the frills, doesn’t mean to no care about anything. Quite the contrary, it means that you don’t care about adversity in the face of YOUR goals, of YOUR happiness which should come first before anyone else around you is a happy camper. It means that you don’t give a fuck if you piss off your great aunt Edna by declining her pumpkin pie, if you are full, you are full. Eating in excess to please someone else is definitely something you should practice giving zero fucks about. It also means to love yourself unconditionally, so unconditionally in fact that you have the strength, power and the dignity to tell others to fuck off if they ever tell you that you are anything less than enough.